5. Letting Go of Blame.

The first positive thing that happened in the journey with cancer is that I let go of self-blame.

This was critical to my wellbeing. It was the Stoics that led me gently away from the guillotine.

Here are some useful Stoic quotes that helped me move on from blame.

“We are not responsible for the challenges that befall us, only for our response to those challenges.”

— Epictetus

Initially after the diagnosis, I experienced despair (see diagnosis story here). After spending a couple of days crying on the sofa, I started to

question if this approach was in my best interest in the longer term. Eventually, a question popped into my head,

‘Has despair taught you anything before?

‘Have you ever got to the end of despair and found answers?’

It was easy to answer: ‘No.’

A visualisation came to me. I watched my body being bashed about in a dark, violent sea. The waves overwhelmed me.

A wooden pathway appeared. It occurred to me that I could get out of the water, and sit safely on this pontoon.

After this experience, I realised I had a choice. I could make this journey difficult or easy. I could be cruel or I could be kind to myself.

Despair wasn’t my only option. I decided I would be kind to myself and rest for as long as I needed.

It was this epiphany that encouraged me to set the objective of inner peace and led me to Stoic Philosophy.

So, letting go of blaming myself or another, whether that be our genetics, or God or the person who blew smoke in our faces when we were 15, was an important step in my emotional recovery.

Can the Stoics help you with this too?

“Those who are ignorant of philosophy blame others, those who are learning philosophy blame themselves, those who have mastered philosophy blame no one.”

— Epictetus

What Next?

If you would like to step away from the guillotine, find the Stoic philosophers, quotes and books that resonate with you. Check out the Resources Article.

You have the best answers within so why not close your eyes and ask: